Once Upon A Memory

Main entrance.

2012-02-06T21:41:00.001Z

*Alarm rings* trice.

Dragging myself out of bed is the last thing I would wanna do on Monday mornings. It's already the second week of February yet it feels as if winter was just yesterday (at least for those in the UK). Since I need about an hour to get ready for classes, which involves drying my hair, pack my bag and lunch, choose my hijab, wear my hijab and other girlish stuff you wouldn't wanna know *grins* hence me waking up an hour earlier than the rest is a must.

It took me two buses to get to the hospital. Rambler (like a Touch'N'Go card in Malaysia) will now be my best friend for the next 12 months or so. At such a young age I have to dress like workers and got me all weird when I'm only 21! (Yes, I am that young I know!). Reading on the bus is definitely not my thing. I'd rather kill time by raping the buttons on my ipod. You know, muting the outside world and live your own with your favorite background music.

First day isn't that bad at all. Lectures were great and amusing at some point. I need to replace my brain with a sponge or a recorder in order to keep track of the lectures. Orientation was tiny bit disappointing cuz I have no idea which building is for what and where can I get cheap coffees or where can I seclude myself besides in the library. But the feeling you get around the hospital area is somewhat dejavu-ish. Of course, I've been in and out of that sort of building everytime I'm with Dad. By force or with my own willingness and even for CV purposes I have to step in into those paint-washed clean white squarish building with chlorine smell and whatnot. Busy hallways, crowded waiting rooms, screaming babies, limping patients, cigarette breaks, briskly walking doctors, calm nurses and sanitiser gels will be waiting for me for the next 3 and a half years till they call me Dr. SHANAZ! (can you see me smiling?) Well actually I'm already starting with that sort of environment. Sad life really. But hey, you get to cure diseases and heal patients! Aren't those the best deeds ever?!

So I can say that I've survived my first day in the hospital! Yay me! Not forgetting my February goal; to jump higher and run further! Best of luck to the future me :)

Time to get those extra calories off of me. Thank you chocolate chunk cookies for I shall now dismiss you from my layers of fat. Sayonara!

Blind and Cheated.

2011-04-23T22:03:00.001+01:00

So life is a bitch. Not that anyone already knows about it. Again, life is a bitch and I'm actually frustrated!

It all happened somewhere at the end of January this year. Yes, I got my details right because I just checked them out. Apparently, I was the one who have asked us to actually separate. Like no contacts, no messages, no emailing, no everything. But somehow I had forgotten about that. Totally forgotten about the fact that we are no longer in good terms. But why then did he still say that he misses me, loves me, been thinking about me? I don't know. I don't even know what to write anymore. Because... I guess I'm just scared.

Special post for someone who was once a special love.

2011-03-19T18:33:00.002Z

You were once someone I loved.
You were once someone I cried for.
Looking back, you were my white owl.
Watching me from far.
Now, I'm walking with another.
Smiling at the memories we had together.

telepathy for real

2011-02-26T22:53:00.002Z

We used the same bag and we wore the same colour of top and hijab.
Her picture was taken some time last week and mine was last year.
The real meaning of sisters? Me thinks so.

I’m tired of this World being a better place to stay.

2011-02-26T18:25:00.001Z

This new semester has been a crazy one for me indeed. With different societies I'm committed into and other people to tolerate to, I wish I have mom to monitor my movements. Staying in Dublin taught me how life can really be more difficult than it has already been. I wonder is God actually having fun watching me getting the torture. Or was it just plainly my fault for being far away from Him? At a point, I wish I just want to quit. But hey, that's not what I am and I will make sure I won't quit. These are just the beginning and let's take it as a way to get to know how to improve self in dealing with different minds. Scarification is a must if you want to survive. But how easy do people look down on things which are so important. There are a few events had occurred to me for the past eight weeks or so. I'm entering March next week and it will definitely be another crazy month to go through. Having someone who is a Malay boy, which I can never get along with, working with me and having all his egos on me is just another minor stuff I have to go through with. International Night's coming up and everyone's looking forward to it. Looks like I have to make up my mind to which is more important. As I am writing this –lucky thing I'm in the library hence less sounds of frustration can be heard- I feel like breaking down and letting go all of my responsibilities. I want to disappear to nowhere and away from everyone. Away from those usrah sisters who have been unconsciously forcing me to attend to their circles or whatever they call themselves. As a matured grown up people they should have understood why I've made my decision. The worse thing they did was to make it even worst. Should I be disappointed at them or at myself? Should I apologise or should I avoid? Should I just give up or go on and be strong? What is it that God's trying to tell me? Because I don't think I can get what He's trying to tell me or show to me or hinting me.

Should I even be sorry for being me? Should I change who you want me to be? Should I not be myself and be who you wanted me to be like? Should I even listen to the words you are saying?

Or rather,

Why would I apologise? Why would I change myself to be who you want me to be? Why would I not be myself? Why would I even listen to you?

If you think you have read the words of God, I guess you haven't read enough. Saying all those ayahs to people, well the bitter truth is action speaks louder than words. I don't have to have your judgement to judge me. I know God knows me and He knows what I like and what I don't like. He made me, of course He would know. And who are you, who actually are at the same level as me, to be superior and egoistic yet irresponsible? If you're trying to take care of other people's character, make sure your character is well enough taken care of.

I'm done complaining and sighing and getting all disappointed.

Fly away...

2011-02-12T11:01:00.002Z

[Secret Garden OST] Baek Ji Young - That Woman

2011-02-06T21:54:00.000Z

thanks to SJ Lovers.

Justin Bieber - That Should Be Me

2011-01-08T08:24:00.000Z

thanks Jardc87 ;D

This song accompanied me during my days back in Penang. Maybe some of you might not like JBieber but I do and I appreciate all his songs especially this one. Enjoy the song ^^

Here's the lyric :D

Everybody's laughing in my mind
Rumors spreadin' 'bout this other guy
Do you do what you did when you did with me,
Does he love you the way I can?
Did you forget all the plans that you made with me
Cause baby I didn't

That should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me that should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on
'Till you believe that
That should be me

That should be me

You said you needed a little time for my mistakes
It's funny how you used that time to have me replaced
Did you think that I wouldn't see you out at the movies
What you doin' to me
You're taking him where we used to go
Now if you're tryin' to break my heart
It's working cause you know that

That should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me that should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on
'Till you believe
That should be me

I need to know should I fight for love
Or disarm
It's getting harder to shield
This pain in my heart

Ooooh

That should be me holding your hand
That should be me making you laugh
That should be me this is so sad
That should be me that should be me
That should be me feeling your kiss
That should be me buying you gifts
This is so wrong
I can't go on
'Till you believe
That that should be me

(Holding your hand)
That should be me
(The one making you laugh (oh baby oh))
That should be me

That should be me
(Giving you flowers)
That should be me
(Talking for hours)
That should be me
That should be me
That should be me
Never should've let you go
I never should've let you go
That should be me
I never should've let you go
That should be me

Tears

2011-01-05T20:15:00.003Z

I feel as if Allah's reminding me to be strong at times like this. A period of time when your head is about to blow up. Time when everything else seems wrong and you cannot make them right especially during examination season. I couldn't thank HIM more to get my nawaytu right. Again. How merciful HE is towards me.

"O'Allah, forgive me for my carelessness, for my ignorance, for my stupidity."

Insha'Allah with the help of HIM, I can continue study with a peaceful heart, mind and soul.

Lastly, I thank God to have friends like them ^^ Alhamdulillah.

Jazakillah Khair Kathiran

Image by [friendfeed.com]

Islam and Ego - Nouman Ali Khan

2011-01-03T22:24:00.000Z

We have to be humble ourselves.
Don't be so superior especially about religion.
Drop your EGO and stop being self-centered, selfish.

"If you looked down upon a muslim, you have something inside you, arrogance."

A sister. Pretty much a best friend.

2010-12-29T23:41:00.001Z

Goood Luuuck for ur upcoming exams!

Although we are million miles away apart from each other, my prayers will be always wif u.
miss our good old days.

forget me, NOT!
love yaa alwayss♥♥♥
*cyber hugs*

Jazakillah Unnie! :D
Miss you already!

Sami Yusuf-Asma Allah

2010-12-22T04:40:00.000Z

In the most difficult moments I had in life, this just stopped the whole commotion and depression.

"If you want to talk to Allah, then pray salah. If you want Allah to talk to you, then read the Quran"

The silent whispers.

2010-12-22T03:59:00.001Z

Someone small caught my attention lately. I am definitely nowhere comparable. My life is so completely diverted as if I have no navigator. I realised sometimes I have abstracted somewhere else. Like there are no directions, no maps. At times, I was lost. Lost and never could find my way back again. Lost and never be found. Lost and forgotten. However, when you are lost that's when you turn to HIM, The Al-Mighty. HE would show me my way back home. Show me the truest path I should follow. I know I should just go straight but then again, I'm only a human. The whispers of Satan sometimes won my heart though the imaan within me should stay stronger. I'm only a human. A fragile ones.

My only wish is that for HIM to forgive me. One said before, "Keep begging God to forgive you". And that's exactly what I will do. You will never know about the hereafter. All you could do is just to prepare for it. Prepare for the eternity. Either you enter Jannah forever or live a hell of a life. For my brothers and sisters both Muslims and Non-Muslims, I pray to God to forgive you. I pray that you will find the right path to HIM. I pray to God to place you amongst those who will enter Jannah.

"O Lord, my sins are like the highest mountain, my good deeds are so few. I turn to you, my heart full of shame, my eyes full of tears. Bestow Your mercy upon me" May Allah bless you all! Ameen.

I secretly wish that I will see all of you in Jannah, Insha'Allah.

My Heart’s calling.

2010-12-20T21:59:00.001Z

How do I even begin? After all this little heart of mine kept it all in itself. Sometimes I wish I could really let them all out- telling what's in my head, expressing my true feelings and stating what's right with me or what's wrong with you. Being in this city itself is a whole new life. Different backgrounds, different cultures, different believes. I thought my nawaytu has been declared from beginning. Why, then do I feel uneasy? Why do I grieve? Why every time a sigh is heard? At times, tears roll down my cheeks. Even then, I don't know why it happened. But one thing held me strong- faith. The only faith left. The only hope left. The only happiness left. Honestly, I wouldn't be who I am now without the One. HE helped me through thick and thin. HE soothed me with the clouds of my favourite. HE cheered me with the smiles of little kids. HE protected me with the wings of HIS angels.

How beautiful it is to have someone who knows everything about you. I don't have to say a word and HE knows it very well. Even in the darkness of time HE sent me HIS light. HE showed the best path for me. HE led me to the garden of patience and courage.

I may be one of the people who disobeyed, who are sinned, and who made HIM angry. I may be the one HE will never forgive, never blessed, and never loved. But one thing for sure, I believe in HIM. I know HE knows and that's all matter. I don't need others to tell me how I should feel towards HIM. Probably as a reminder, yes. But to tell me how, I myself alone know how to feel.

I’ll think about it later.

2010-04-27T09:33:00.001+01:00

Last weekend (April 24^th-25^th) was the Clinical Emergencies Conference. It was held at Bayview Beach Resort, Penang. I supposed I was the youngest participant there. I went with Kak Amira Anis, Chiang Wen, Hong and Ryan. Wei-Lyn was there early in the morning for registration. Amin and Mark came later on. Honestly, I was freaking sleepy during the lectures. I can't help it but to fall asleep. Well, I did a good job in my sitting posture; didn't even fall off the chair at all. LOL! Besides sleeping, I actually learnt a lot from this conference. The benefit comes in the future though. The conference began on Friday April 23^rd. So, after the conference the PMC Leprechauns had an Ultimate Beach somewhere at Tanjung Bungah. It was a fun evening but I was too exhausted to have fun. We played few rounds of Frisbee and then the boys started throwing each other into the sea. My plan to get the big camera snap my pictures didn't go as it supposed to. Jeff said I was being 'emo' towards the end of the day. Well, yea. I was and I don't care. Before heading back home we all had dinner at Khaleel.

The next day, Kak amira and I were so determined not to fall asleep during the lectures. We bought snacks and coffee into the ballroom. Well, as usual we failed. My eyelids were so heavy to even lift them open! Monkey Da Ke a.k.a Chiang Wen Teo was disappointed when he saw me sleeping. Someone told me that he said the topics that were interesting to him I slept off but the ones he thought they were boring I was wide awake listening. Oh, did I mention earlier that the lunch was superb? We went gaga over the ice-creams! Ha ha! That night, we went for a quick sushi at Sakae Sushi and then Shutter Island to wrap up the night. As a result, Sunday morning I decided not to go for the conference! My body ached so bad that I continued sleeping for another 3 hours :)

Okay, will continue soon. I have to get ready for discs training. More stories to be told.

A day filled with darkness.

2010-04-13T07:49:00.001+01:00

"A good word is better than silence and silence is better than evil talks!" - But most of us can't stop ourselves from evil words.

Given a situation where Jane who had lived with Savannah came to removed all her belongings after a month she left the house. Somehow, Jane forgotten to inform Sav that she's coming to take her stuff out from the house. Sava came back and unlocked the main door. She looked puzzled as if someone just broke into the house. Lucky thing she's smart enough to figure out that Jane who came and made the mess. Boiled with anger, Sava called Jane's dad. Sava said it would be polite if they could at least text her or inform her before entering the house or she might consider making a police report. Yes, they paid the rent and all but Jane doesn't stay in the house anymore. The worst thing is they even took some of Sava's belongings like Sava's sister's water bottle and they took along the GREEN bucket which Sava has been using even before Jane moved into the house. Of all things, they left Jane's dead plant behind. What a way to say we came by but this plant is for you. Sava was in deep pain to say the FOUR LETTER WORDS right now but *breathe in, breathe out*. She prefers to just keep it to herself. Take the freaking water bottle which still has water inside that she boiled and the green bucket which doesn't even belong to Jane. Can Sava call it stealing? Taking one's belonging without one's permission is called STEALING and as far as Sava's concern stealing is always wrong. Stealing is the taking of things or being in possession of things that belong to someone else without their permission. Based on Wiki, in criminal law, theft is the illegal taking of another person's property without that person's freely-given consent. In short, Jane is officially a thief including her stupid family.

So, what do you think of this matter? Should Sava make a police report for stealing Sava's belongings without her permission? How about Jane trespassing although she paid the rent without staying? Or should Sava just ignore this case?

Personally, I'm going to ignore this and learn my lesson not to have any connection with Jane anymore. I think it was rude of them for not informing Sava because what if they blame her for taking their stuff and Sava has no idea about it? Another problem is Jane and her family is well-brought up and should have some common sense in dealing with this matter but PERSONALLY they are the worst human beings on Earth for being such irresponsible individuals. They call themselves professionals but they obviously proved to me that they should be working with the sampah people. This is what I think of them. If you don't like it, well, I have all the right to say whatever I want to say because obviously the whole of me belongs to me and no, you didn't pay for it.

Anger Kissed My Lips

2010-04-08T10:01:00.000+01:00

Monday was the last day for exams and ended the day playing Frisbee. Very tiring but again, this sport is addictive. I hate it when they are so tall surrounding me making it harder for me to pass the disc. Irritating much, hell yea! Tuesday went well. After lab, lepak with Wai Onn in the library. I read a huge book of Psychology while he went for class. Wednesday was the same old thing again. Classes then Frisbee plus my injured ribs-waist. I seriously have to do something with my catching or I'll end up on hospital bed for fracture ribs.

Honestly speaking, i DO NOT agree having them coming for practices. Eeee! Yes, I am selfish but I don't care. I joined it even during examination while you guys complaining for the needs to study hard. Kiss My Awesome Arse.

Anyways, they felt the earthquake. I think the earthquake woke me up though. Scary but Alhamdulillah everything went well that day. I'm bored. Seriously. I'm sick of those faces who are just so fake and ATTENTION SEEKER! (Chill Shanaz...) haihhhh... I have to be patient. Everyone is weird in their own ways and Shanaz, you are good in adapting with them. Remind you, not pretending just adapting.

Oh oh, did I tell you about this dream I dreamt about? It's weird that I dreamt of him. That includes lips and coldness of it. *goosebumps* God, help me to face him the next time I ever see him again. Please Shanaz, DO NOT BLUSH IN FRONT OF HIM! (I hope they can't tell if I'm blushing or what) *fingercrossed*

Okay, I'm done crapping. Supposed to have practice in few minutes and I haven't change! PEN OFF!

Through the rain.

2010-04-04T07:02:00.001+01:00

Saturday, April 3^rd was our 4^th Ultimate practice. At 8am we started throwing discs around. Hazwan, Amin's friend came up north to help us out. And there were two guys (probably their friends) stopped by as well. At least I felt much better today than that of last week. Last week was horrible and I couldn't imagine going through those moments again. It was depressing trying to put up fake smiles when you just want to give a long gloomy face. I noticed I smiled a lot yesterday and laughed a lot too.*grins*

After practice, we went to Jalan Transfer to eat breakfast. The roti telur cost about RM4.20. Is that cheap? LOL. Done with breakfast, I head to the Student Centre to study until before the next Frisbee practice. Wai Onn came and did his work as well. Who is Wai Onn? He's a third year student in PMC and I met him during the first Frisbee practice. Apparently, he's the so-called coach? Or is it Amin, the vice president? I don't know and don't want to know. Anyways, he's overall a good guy and really nice to talk to. He's tall, a slow walker, very calm, loves Ultimate and he cannot speak Mandarin. Ha ha! I noticed most of the seniors are like pushing me not to go for RCSI. WHY? Hmm… Oh, who cares what they think. After all, it's my future where there will be only me to go through alone.

Around 3 plus, the other players (Mark, Amin, Hazwan, Lorraine, Sharon and Yun) came to Student Centre. We went to Balik Pulau (45mins by car) to go find that Balik Pulau Sports Complex. We had laksa for our lunch and then we head back to Georgetown. Kamal and Rashid came along soon after we reached PMC. The sky wasn't promising but we played before it started drizzling. When it gets heavier, we head inside and continue with the indoor games. I played pool with Wai Onn, then ping pong with Mark, Amin, Hazwan, Lorraine, Sharon and Wai Onn. But we changed the bats with discs. So we called it the FrisPong. (I think so.) Once it started drizzling again, we went outside and began throwing discs again. I don't know how to say this in words but the whole practice was so funny. All of us practically were laughing all the way through the practice. LOL!

Today there was another practice as well. Did some running and catching but the weather was a bit off today. I was super tired plus I'm losing blood. Oh, yesterday I sort of injured one of my fingers. But I insisted to keep playing. I know I'm stubborn :p I hope it won't get worse though. I still have exams on Monday and I need to write A LOT! Oh well…

Okay, I shall start studying; I think tonight I'll be having dinner outside. SO, I MUST STUDY AS MUCH AS I COULD. Jia You!
Sorry i crapped a lot. i'm super exhausted!

PS: Btw, April 4^th is my LOVE DAY <3 heeee~

Good Friday was a good END!

2010-04-02T23:19:00.001+01:00

Woohoo! I'm done with Module 7 and 8.

Comments on Module 8:

The only question I cannot do was the one with the effect of sympathetic and parasympathetic system on few organs in the body. I skipped the whole section, no, I was about to read that topic when it was time to enter the exam hall. =.=" but the others I've forgotten some here and there and it's my carelessness. Screw them!

Questions that came out were:

Nervous system (B)
Nitric oxide neurotransmitter transmission (C)
RC circuit (P)
Fibrillation (P)
Artificial pacemaker (P)
ECG (P)
Action potential (P)
Sympathetic and parasympathetic (B)
Ear (B)
Time constant

Comments on Module 7:

Overall… "No comment"-Simon Yong. One question on alkynes I screwed that one. =p didn't even read through the whole section on alkynes. Some reagents I wrote wrongly. Argh! All I did was careless mistakes. Never mind. I've done my best and now it's the time to just pray to Allah may everything goes right for me :) Insha'Allah.

Saturday April 3^rd, 2010

I woke up around 0430. Later in the morning we'll be having Frisbee practice *excited excited* and again at 1700. So, I decided to bring along my notes on Module 10 to revise in the student centre instead of coming back and lazing around not doing anything. Hope it won't rain in the evening because if none of them coming for the evening practice, I'll probably have to walk back home with my heavy bag. Oh, my umbrella! It's with Sarah Liyana :( Never mind, Allah sure will find ways for me to help me ^^

Okay, PEN OFF!

Stressful smiles.

2010-03-31T14:16:00.001+01:00

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

Yes, I know the time is tick-tocking but I'm not ready for exams yet. I thought I could see him today but I supposed each day is different. *sigh* oh well, I'm totally looking forward to the weekends. Although I'm facing the Module 9 and Module 10 on Monday next week but I hope to enjoy the weekend as much as I could. Insya-Allah.

Currently I'm studying Chemistry on the action of Aspirin towards bad COX or also known as the cyclooxygenase. But I still haven't got the whole mechanism in my head yet and it gets annoying when you can't read the notes printed. What more the internet connection in the library broke down. Guess I have to bear with these disabilities for few hours. Instead, I've decided to blog or at least pre-publish this memory before it's forgotten.

My plan for tonight is to study Chemistry like a noob and the next day full speed of Module 8! I really need all the luck that exists in this world. Seriously! Do I sound like I'm joking about luck??? Hell no. I hope everything goes well as planned. Again:

Wednesday, March 31^st: Chemistry Module 7

Thursday, April 1^st: Module 8

Friday, April 2^nd: MID-TERM!

Saturday, April 3^rd: Frisbee @ 8a.m, Module 10

Sunday, April 4^th: Frisbee @ 8a.m, Module 9

Monday, April 5^th: MID-TERM!

Tuesday, April 6^th: Sleeping session! :D

Wednesday, April 7^th: LWCS Critical Thinking Test

Thursday, April 8^th: Maybe Frisbee?

Friday, April 9^th: REST DAY

Saturday, April 10^th: Frisbee Beginners Tourney

Sunday, April 11^th: I want to go for MOVIE- "How to Train Your Dragon"

He he... I developed a new hobby: FRISBEE. Oh, remind me to buy the disc and to pay Amin RM10.

Bette rget back to Chemistry or I'll regret later. :\

It is all over again.

2010-03-30T17:14:00.001+01:00

The one thing I'm really pissed off with is when I'm half way typing, the Microsoft Word suddenly closed. FORK! Let's see if I can recall what I've written in the previous document.

Tears rolled down my cheeks.

It's been awhile since I last blogged about anything at all. Where should I start telling the stories? I'll begin with Benny Oppa's farewell. He took the IMU offer together with two of my classmates, Andrew Chuah and Joanne Lim. I guess they have a great life down in Kuala Lumpur. At least they adapted quickly. Sometimes, I wish they are all here in Penang. Like I said, if you miss anyone look up to the stars because stars look similar everywhere on Earth. No matter how far by looking at stars somehow it makes me feel like I'm really near to that someone. They all left for good after the Chinese New Year holiday break. I went to visit Ayah in Johor with Mommy and Ikmal. I haven't seen him for quite some times already. Hisham started his housemanship in Seremban. He was excited to start working and I hope he's actually happy working as a doctor. After few weeks, "Enjoying this shitty work" was what he wall-ed me on my Facebook! Well bro, no pain no gain aye? Insya-Allah you can go through the obstacles and challenges! Shazli, Nadie and I will be joining you and Kakak soon ;)

HEHE ^^

March the busy bee!

March 1^st, I had high fever (41.3°C) together with flu and bad sore throat for about 4 days before I went to the clinic to check my temperature which is on March 1st. On the same time that week, I joined the hip-hop dance team performing for Party in the (car) Park. It's a part of the Fresher's Week event. So happened that I heard the rest of the dance crew fell sick as well. All of them had high fever and sore throat. I'm not sure who spread the virus though. It took me a week to actually gain my strength! Once we recovered, the dance practice resumed. It turned out awesome! We even managed to video clipped a so-called music video in the car park using headlights from two cars and spaces of 4 parking lots. It was hilarious and funny but we all looked cool in the MV ^.^

Songs used:

Tick tock by Kesha
Morning after dark by Timbaland ft SoShy and Nelly Furtado (SoShy's part)
Eat you up by BoA.

Hip-hop Crew:

Xiang Yun
Sylvia
Lorraine
Shaaron
Anne
Hana
Atikah Razley
Sarah Liyana
Chia Wen
Shanaz - ME!

Fresher's GREEN week!

(15.03.10-20.03.10) I'm totally awed by this week! Especially me as I deep myself in GREEN! Oh, so the color that I adore and attracted to. St. Patrick's Day fell on Wednesday 17^th and almost everyone wore GREEN! (See how much I emphasized on the color?! Freaky right? I know!) I had gotten myself hand painting of a weird shamrock and an Ireland flag on my wrist done by a 5^th year senior named Jason Yong. Thanks a lot! On Saturday 20^th, I joined the Amazing Race Penang edition organized by PMCSA. I replaced Yantie since she had something going on that weekend. We were the Turf Club team consist of Kak Hana, Ijah, Asmak and I helped by Atikah Razley and Fitri. It was double tiring than OBS I tell you. I got myself blisters because I wore sandals instead of running shoes. Dumb aren't I? That night was the concert. The hip-hop dance was the first to perform. Few other performances such as singing by few fellow seniors, choir group and Professors as well as Korean hip-hop dance by the 3^rd years and a fan Chinese dance. Lucky draws are given out and I won the Clinical Emergency Conference held at Bayview Beach Resort on the April 22^nd to 25^th. Hisham asked me to go and so I decided to attend the conference. The problem right now is I have no transport to get my ass up north to that hotel. Shyte! This is plain embarrassing! Will have to ask around for transport and this makes me look like I'm begging for help. Argh! Just hate it when all these come one after another.

PS: wear G.R.E.E.N often please! At least I did ;)

Flying discs in the air.

Frisbee is a sport. LOL! I have no idea what to write about this one yet. I attended few practices taught by Amin and Wai Onn. So far, I only LOVE the forehand throws. Just FOREHAND THROWS! Backhand is a huge NO NO for me. I suck at it and if you don't believe me I'll show to you one day. Just make sure you don't laugh out loud. They said backhand is easier than forehand. Now I'm laughing out loud! :D April 10^th is the Ultimate Tourney for Beginners. I wish to play though but last weekend (27^th and 28^th) was one of my worse weekends ever. Oh, Saturday 27^th was the Basketball Tournament for charity.

Players: Sheri Lim, Chia Wen, Sarah Liyana and Shanaz

ARGH! The thought of it just makes me want to scream my lungs out! I thought Sunday could lift my mood up but I guess it gotten worsens and I was cold to everyone around me. Swear to God, I really tried being cheerful and it's tiring to fake things you don't want to do. ENOUGH ABOUT THAT SHANAZ! Back to Frisbee; I was quiet the whole morning and I registered myself for the second team. We're having practices again this Saturday and Sunday. (Put up a huge grin) I'm going to enjoy that weekend! Yes, I will!

(Deep thoughts)

MIDTERM!

Urgh, another obstacle I have to go through. Module 7 and Module 8 are on Friday, April 2^nd while Module 9 and Module 10 are on Monday, April 5^th. Wish me luck yea!

Lately I've been studying in the cold icy library. I guess my blood will get frozen if I stay there without getting off the chair. Besides studying of course there are other things that makes me smile like I saw my eye-candies from far or they're right next to me or they're walking around or they're sitting down or something! HAHA >.< I'm having so much FUN and I'm actually enjoying all these.

[I miss Tiger. It's been two months since I met you. Let's Sushi King please!]

PEN OFF!

Something from facebook

2010-02-20T17:39:00.001Z

Remember?

2010-02-04T08:36:00.001Z

I love the way you look at me even when you don't think I'm watching.
I love the way you smile at me even when I've said the stupidest thing.
I love the way we can fight and hang up the phone knowing the other person wants to call back but both are too stubborn.
I love the way you can light up my face by just walking in a room.
I love the way you look at me as you gently kiss my forehead
I love all of this, but what I love most is...you
And I can't imagine living any other way; even if I can't see you every day, your voice echoes in my head, your love remains in my heart.
And if you walk away, I know that it will be the best thing to ever walk out of my life.

And I found one ;)

2010-02-03T10:57:00.001Z

I want the boy that would go into the fast food place to order the food because he knows that I hate to do it.
I want the boy that would hold my purse when I try on clothes, not caring what people think.
I want the boy that would color with me like little kids.
I want the boy that would tell me I'm beautiful while wearing sweats.
I want the boy that would hang out with me with his friends.
I want the boy that would tell me he needs to get 'guy time.'
I want the boy that would take me on romantic dates.
I want the boy that would take me to a scary movie and let me hold his hand the whole time.
I want the boy that would watch chick flicks with me, and when I cried, he'd wipe away my tears.
I want the boy that would stay on the phone, even if I wasn't saying anything.
I want the boy that would know in a millisecond that I wasn't okay.
I want the boy that would come visit me, bring me mushroom soup, and cuddle up watching daytime TV when I was sick.
I want the boy that would defend me to any a**hole or b**ch.
I want the boy that would just hold me.
I want the boy that would give me hugs that make me weak in my knees.
I want the boy that would be able to give me butterflies with just a smile.
I want the boy that could make me smile with just one kiss.
I want the boy that would kiss me in the rain.
I want the boy that would dance with me, in the rain or shine.
I want the boy that would sing with me obnoxiously.
I want the boy that would push me on the swings and catch me at the end of the slide.
I want the boy that would call me baby.
I want the boy that would say I love you and mean it with all of his heart.
I want the boy that would just be my best friend...forever.

I did.

2010-02-02T18:09:00.001Z

Did you ever fall for someone you know you shouldn't?
Try hard to fight your feelings, but you just couldn't?

You fall deeper with each passing day,
but try to hide it in every possible way.

He's only a friend, and nothing else
that's the lie you keeping telling yourself.

You keep on saying he's just a bud,
but deep inside, you're falling in love.

You get so giddy when you meet his eyes,
but keep reminding yourself it isn't right.

A simple glance turns into a stare,
but you pretend that you don't care.

It's "not right" for you two to be.
Is that why you hide it so no one can see?
But how long will you pretend?
Keep lying that he's just a friend?

Perhaps your feelings you can never show.
Perhaps it's "wrong" for him to know.
Your friendship can't be risked over this,
so being his girl is an impossible wish...

-Momei Qu

True LOVE.

2010-01-18T09:11:00.001Z

There was a blind girl, who used to hate everyone except her boyfriend.

She always used to say "I will marry you if I could see".

One day she got a donor for her eyes and the operation was a success.

When asked, whom would you like to see first?

She desired to see her boyfriend.

She was shocked to see that her boyfriend is also blind.

Her boyfriend then asked, "Will you marry me?"

She simply refused.

Her boyfriend didn't question anything.

He neither regretted with a word nor felt sorry.

He got up and walked away, saying "Just take care of my eyes".

Goodbye, 2009!

2009-12-28T14:28:00.001Z

Days toward the end of the year are coming fast enough to even realize them… Tests and assignments kept me busy from shopping and watching movies. January 2010 will be the end of Semester 1! The month where stress level will rise to its maximum so will my weight (sigh). The requirement is only to PASS. Should be easy to get there don't you think so? Yes, effort is a must and hard work pays it all. Insya-Allah, Ireland is a place where I will be at on September 2010.

Since beginning of this year, I thank God that everything turned out good despite few catfights, jealousy, sinfully delicious food consumption and etc. As a human, I do mistakes as well. I'm not perfect after all. I'm just a girl who tries to live her own life in peace and harmony with nature as well as with human beings. Just those human beings are annoying at times and that's when you're supposed to avoid them.

Let's see if I manage to pull it through those rough times:

Study hard for A-levelà Actually, I did study hard. Tuition almost every weekend. Probably my luck to go Ireland is not this year L Results: ABCC
Lose weightà I think I'm in the 50+ still =.=
Managed to watch Harry Potter 6 with Tiger.
New moon as well ^^
I didn't manage to go Ireland for 1^st year but Foundation Year, as Dr. Loo said was supposed to be a Fun Year J that's something good to hear.
So far, my relationship with Tiger went well and nothing seems to be much a problem except on his side.
To be 50kg! Ops, I said it again :)
The saddest part of all… I didn't get to watch KLWMBC. Wonder who won the best marching band for this year.hmm…
Learnt new moves and dance and I miss those moments dancing with Jeannie and Evelyn.
Huge fight with J… traumatized babe! Really…
BUT, I'm talking to Jeannie again! Bogoshipoyo~
I got A-levels Chemistry B. Hey, something that all of you should be proud of.
Penang is one of the most hated islands as I lost my iPod in one lousy library.
Oh right! On Valentine Day I met up with Sze Jian after one year! Honestly, he looked like Onew Shinee ok! Well, when he was tembam.
THE ANGRIEST MOMENT! - BROKE UP WITH TIGER AND THE NEXT THING I KNOW IS HE HOOKED UP WITH A BITCH! S.C.R.E.W HER!!!

Bleh, these are all I could think of. Honestly, a lot of dramas in 2009 that I would like to share with the whole wide world!

The gossips I've been through:

- KL and I are together. (How on earth?)

- have something to do with KTJ. Oh well, I think he's cute. Well, he is.

- Horrible fight with my ex-roommate and Faiz Halim which I think has no sense at all.

- In this one place, I think someone thought that I like this boy. Excuse me, do you want Tiger to eat you up?

See, I told you. Free drama for 2009! Amazing how one year can have many things happening without you realizing.

However, thank you for turning my life upside down. That's the fun part of it =)

I think it is time for me to welcome 2010- Tiger year! A year full of happiness, good wealth and good health.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!!

IN LOVING MEMORY OF P’BIG D2B

2009-12-14T13:49:00.001Z

BIG @ PANRAWAT KITTIKORNCHAROEN

1982-2007

02^nd December 1982

A star was born somewhere in a place called Bangkok, Thailand. He was tall, fair and had the sweetest face ever. When Dan & Beam discovered his hidden talent, they took him into a boy band called D2B which stands for Dan, Beam and Big. They were the teenagers' sweetheart lovers. With romantic songs and their charming looks you can never go wrong to love this boy band.

[ DAN – BIG – BEAM ]

Until the night in the year of 2003, heartbreaking news about P'Big- he was involved in a terrible accident. He went into coma for few years due to surgery complication in removing bacteria and fungus in the brain. Since then, people visited and prayed for him. I prayed for his comeback. I prayed that he could sing again. He could be on stage again. I prayed that one day I could meet him and smile at him.

For six years I have been putting high hopes, thinking P'Big is recovering every single day. For six years, every time I played their songs on iTunes, my heart would cry silently. When I watched their MVs, smiles and tears accompanied me through. Still hoping my wishes would come true.

07^th December 2007 (5 days after Big's birthday)

P'Big left the world. He left and will never return. My wishes crushed. My hopes had gone. I can no longer see him on stage. I can no longer hear him sing. No more smiles of his. No more laughter of his. No more that sweet face I have always wanted to touch.

P'Big, I miss you.

P'Big, I love you.

I cried the whole night when I found out about the sad news. I cried to sleep listening to D2B's songs. I cried to sleep wishing I could meet him in my dreams. I just want to see him one more time. I just want to smile at him one last time. But I know I can't...

07^th December 2009

Two years had passed. Deep in my heart, the scar is still freshly wounded. The fact that he left hurts me a lot. The fact that I am not able to meet him hurts me. I would cry when he crossed my mind. I would cry when his songs are played on iTunes. I would cry watching his last concert- Miracles. I would cry because even when you are not around, your songs linger around me. Your smiles would flash in front of my eyes. Your image keeps appearing in my dreams. You make me miss you even more. You make me want to turn back time so badly. You make me want to fly to Thailand hoping you weren't dead after all.

Screams For Your Return.

It was an odd day,

Your face kept appearing,

I know that deep in my heart,

I'm missing you, crying.

I wish I could see you,

Even for the last time,

Let me see you,

Just one more time.

Suddenly,

The voice of your soul,

Sings my lullaby,

Happy to be near you,

So glad that you lived,

Though we've bade goodbye.

There isn't a day I never think about you.

There isn't a moment that I don't miss you.

There isn't a memory that left my mind.

My heart is wishing you were never gone.

Though we've bade goodbye,

I still miss you….

Chun ruk ter P'Big.

It is time for me to stop and take another way.

2009-11-16T20:18:00.001Z

Good things always come to an end. No matter how much you want them to stay, to a certain extent you just have to let them go. Nothing really belongs to you. I have learnt a lot for the past few weeks. I'm tired to face these ugly feelings every single day. Marc told me something that helped to clear my mind. I have to find the end to this. The stories in my head have been rolling nonstop. Only I can push the stop button. I need to let things go. I have to or I'll be eating myself up. I will end up hurting my real feelings, destroying my soul. How I wish I'm only 3 years old where I know nothing about anyone. Nothing hurts more than just a cut on the knee. Now, even a crack in my heart, it hurts so much. So much that I couldn't cry. Hurt so bad that every beat of my heart, I would stop breathing. I have to remind myself that not everyone can read minds. Not even Nadirah who knows me so well. I thought I could handle these commotions. The ugly truth behind it is I can't. I can't do it alone at least. I have been through worse and I should know better that this couldn't be the worst I have to face.

It is time for me to burn the memories. Throw the ashes away, leave everything behind and come back to the old me. The cheerful one they said. I have never realized they actually saw me as the smiling-all-the-way kind of girl. When Shu Ying told me I didn't have the bright look on my face like usual today I was taken aback. I have always thought that I'm the hot-tempered girl, the moody one and always frowning. When she said that, suddenly what Kennard, Ming Wai, Sze Jian and Soh said before makes me realized I was always laughing and smiling and that I wouldn't go through a single day without them. I couldn't accept the fact that I've forgotten about it. It's hard for me to actually believe now that I am a total opposite from how I was 3 years ago. I think I don't know who I am now. Who or what I have became.

Before, no matter how sad I was at the end of the day I know that someone would put a smile on my face. At the moment, I have to do it alone. I'm far from where I belong. It is scary, very scary. I hope someone or anyone would give me a map and a compass for me to find my way back home. Home where I can be myself instead of the one I am now. Someone that I have never knew before. Someone who claimed herself as me. Someone who wore my mask.

Take my hands and hold them tight. Lead me the way out from here. It's so dark and cold. I'm trembling and I'm scared. If you could just give me a light I will be able to find my way back. All I needed is help. A help will do. Though at times, you just have to do it by yourself without anyone to assist you. You have to walk on your own. You have to walk alone.

Let me be happy.

Let me smile without crying inside.

Let me laugh without feeling hurt.

Let me walk without feeling scared.

Busy week!

2009-10-08T19:21:00.001+01:00

You have no idea what I've been through this week. And last week.

Let's see…

Monday- went out to shop for groceries.

Tuesday- PMC Hari Raya Celebration.

Wednesday- Futsal and small party in the house.

Thursday- Movie "Ugly Truth" and yumcha.

Friday- I have no idea what's happening tomorrow…

And I'm sleepy. So, I'll continue blogging soon…real soon!

Promise!

October Feast!

2009-09-30T11:00:00.001+01:00

29-09-09 >> I typed it in my phone but the laptop couldn't read it :(

Okay, Raya's done long time ago and I've been waiting for this moment to arrive. (Gosh, 10 months waiting!) But before I start getting excited, Nadie's leaving Malaysia tonight. Well, not exactly tonight but she's going to KLIA tonight so let it be tonight ayte. Well, will miss her jokes especially- and not really her.

*grumbles* THAT was my tummy, people! Too bad I'm fasting today and I left my wallet in the house. Oh, you guys might wonder where I am. I'm actually in the library trying to figure out how to do my physics tutorial. At Question 3 I gave up! Physics really isn't my thing~ (oh please tummy, stop making noises!)

Oh!!! I forgot to mention, a sepet-eyed was detected! He went out from the library for awhile. Wish could know him more. (Tiger, I meant it as a friend)

Let's get back to ME! My birthday is so soon that you and me might not even realized it. It's exactly 23 days from now. Along the way, these people also arrived on Earth:

Nadirah Shahrom
Khairul Reza
Syafiqah Nadia
Nurul Miftah
Josephine Hendriks
Hoh Chee Yuen
Denise Kok
Mr. Simon Lai
Kiang (Alvin)
Kevin Hoong
Liyana
Azianti Taib
Ckin Hanif
My grandma
Pak Su
Joanne Lim
Azimah
Ali VI
Ethira Sherwany
Imran Fadzil
Shawn Lim
David
Jeannie John, Fei Ching & Song Min Kyeong (all on the same date)
Tiara Fedora
Eminem
2 of my secondary school teachers
1 old primary school friend
Siew Li Joo (we share!)
Nadirah Ehsan
And the list goes on….

So, now we all know how many Octoberians in my list!

And here comes the wish list!

I wish I had a Burberry wallet
And their Trench Coat
If possible their wrist watch also
I want to try handmade cakes or chocolate cheese from Secret Recipe
Sushi King for a treat! Eat whatever I can :)
Korean style cardigan
Shopping spree
Mark & Spencer's maroon boot (I've been craving for that)

...looks like I've been wishing the un-wish-able but most of all…

Celebrate my birthday with loved ones
And have a good night sleep

…think you can grant my last wish???

START WORKING!

JACQUELINE ON CYSTIC FIBROSIS & LUNG TRANSPLANT

2009-09-18T03:09:00.000+01:00

Written by,
SHANAZ MD SHAHROM

As a young baby, Jacqueline Monaghan was diagnosed with Cystic fibrosis (CF). This disease is an inherited disorder caused by mutations in a gene on chromosome 7 which involved in regulating moisture on epithelial surfaces. This mutation makes a protein called cystic fibrosis transmembrane regulator (CFTR) to become abnormal. As a result, CF patients produce thick and sticky mucus rather than the thin, watery type. This condition manifests in many organs for instance the upper and lower airways, pancreas, bile as well as reproductive tracts. In most patients, the cause of death is mainly due to lung disease. The mucus would clog the airways causing bacteria to remain in the lungs and this may lead to infection.

During her early childhood, Jacqueline was able to enjoy life as a normal young girl. However, life got more complicated when she started secondary school as she needed more antibiotics. She decided to go into medicine just as she was entering university. At that time, she had a lung capacity of 45% and was not in her healthiest state. However, she managed to finish the course. She had a part-time job but was barely able to work. Jacqueline proceeded into Psychiatry after her junior year. As time passed, her lungs were getting more damaged and she risked getting respiratory failure. At the moment, the only cure for respiratory failure is a lung transplant. She went on waiting list for lung transplant 3 years ago.

Being on the waiting list, Jacqueline felt very anxious as they could call her at any time and undergo the surgery. For patients with CF, a successful lung transplant gives them about 50% chance of surviving for the next two years. CF is an unpredictable condition; the lungs can have an acute infection or otherwise have no function for a long time. Thus, it is very difficult to perform a transplant. As soon as a lung is available, at least two donors were called to the hospital. The donors and the patient were examined base on their physical condition, blood type and other specific requirements. A match was found when a donor and a patient’s medical and biological information were the same.

On an April morning, Jacqueline received a call at 3.45a.m stating that a matching donor was found. She flew to Newcastle and was anesthetized in a hospital. The operation began at 10.00a.m that very day. After she had awakened, she felt strange and experienced a lot of pain every time she tried to breathe deeply. Her breathing became easier the next two days and only after a week was she able to breathe normally. She felt more comfortable with her new lungs.

A year after Jacqueline’s surgery, she was amazed at the things she could do, namely her daily routines. She was grateful that she had her family supporting her throughout her illness and most importantly the donor of her new lungs. Jacqueline enjoyed taking on her part-time job and appreciated her life ever since.

Jacqueline is only one of the many cases of patients involving a lung transplant. There are still many people eagerly waiting for a suitable donor in hopes of saving their lives. But for Jacqueline, she had only just begun to ‘live’.

Reference: Student BMJ Podcast Transplantation, www.student.bmj.com

Whisper of the heart.

2009-09-18T03:07:00.000+01:00

Something I wrote years ago.

WHISPER OF THE HEART

I saw you…
Deep down in my heart,
I wanted to say “Hi, I love you”
Those words could not be heard
Even my heart screamed them loud.
Now, can you hear what my heart says?
“That’s it, I’m over with you”
Cause you do not care to listen with your ears
Then it burst into tears.
Now I have told you…
Can you listen with your heart?
When I say “I love you”?

PS: There’s a deep meaning in this piece. I’m not sure if you get what I was trying to tell.

Things that people would never figured out about me just by looking at me!

2009-09-18T03:06:00.000+01:00

1. I would think a lot! Like every second I would start imagining stuff, planning my days, recording, analyzing, reading people’s mind and of course day dreaming- how my life would be like if I marry this man or that man, will I ever be a good mother, will I be able to stay up at different hours just to check on humans who have diseases and seek for attention etc.
2. I am very kedekut with my food! If I can have the whole burger to myself, I would eat it alone! My sisters and brothers always complain that I never share my food- because I wouldn’t! If people give me some, I would not take them because I fear that they are also like me!
3. I’m actually petite. If my boyfriends are around me, then you know what I mean.
4. I have gone through a lot in my life and no, I’m not telling you. I met a lot of characters all around the world. But those differences make the Earth another better place to stay than the Sun? examples: normal fights, backstabbers, accused, being in love, being loved, heartbroken, break hearts, get cursed, pampered, spoiled, trying to be know-it-all and failed, trying to act super cool, please people without wanting to, saying yes to everything, never try to say no to things you know you can’t do, too kind, and etc.
5. Most of the time I prefer to listen.
6. I love animals! Especially feline groups that include tigers, leopards, cats and cheetahs.
7. I wish to become a policewoman someday. I would arrest those ignorant people who wouldn’t stop before the zebra cross to let people cross the busy roads.
8. I’m picky with my clothes. I prefer wearing thick clothing despite Malaysia’s weather.
9. Dislike shopping but when I do, I’ll pick those that I would wear for a long time. And it’s always hard to choose clothes/shoes/bags from 5 or more stores.
10. I have six wonderful and weird siblings including myself. They are all of different attitudes. But almost all of us have rabbit teeth :B Five out of six are in the medical line leaving our baby brother with his long-to-go future.
11. I can speak the common words of Arabic, Korean, Japanese, Thai, Philippines, Spanish, French, Mandarin and Cantonese. English is so easy and so is Malay but I always forgot the words in Malay. Not a laughing matter…
12. I am obsessed with green, Emma Watson, Big D2B, ShinHwa and dresses. (I think everybody knows that!)
13. I cannot sing at all but I can dance pretty well. Specifically hip-hop dance.
14. Chinese boys was my favorite collection and still is but progressing to hot British hunks.
15. I am so gedik. Really!

It-story of an iPod!

2009-09-18T03:03:00.000+01:00

10-09-09

A silver solid iPod nano, the old version, was bought probably half a decade ago somewhere in Singapore or just the Peninsula I’m not sure. Belongs to Nazreen and after she got bored of the lame settings, she passed the iPod to me! So, I’ve been taking care of that little thing for at least a year and never bother what will I do without its help to bring me to the tuned world from the harsh-tuned world or I shall say nagging from all kind of humans and just to get out from the busyness of the Land of Mud.

The silver body was covered with black plastic. (Save plastic people!) Until one day Nadirah was kind enough to give it a new casing. Match with my all-time favorite color, green and new-now-useless earphones, my lovely greenish iPod now can enjoy its’ precious time in my comfy Prada handbag.

Make long story short, someone abused it! Took it out from its comfort zone, I wonder where has my iPod gone?

The long story starts when I decided to walk back home from college. And I’m not sure how I ended at the Penang’s public library. Stayed there for an hour and then continue my journey home. Entered my room and was about to sleep. Suddenly some stupid people around the apartment probably killing time drilling his house’s wall for nothing but noise made me look inside my bag for him. Shocked and confused, I realized someone stole it. Oh My Dear… Searched the whole wardrobe even places where I know I would never put it there. How cruel humans are to something so small. Probably my iPod was ‘sleeping’ still before I ‘woke’ him up to play me songs. So, I did the silliest part, but still did it-I cried! Yes, just an iPod BUT I’ve been taking care of it like so well. And I planned to go walk around the Island while listening to it.

My other crazy alternative is to switch on my laptop, pluck in the earphones, the broken one and then put them all in my bag! That way, I get internet access AND music at the same time! The only problem is that either I’m brave enough to do it or someone might pull me in a van, rob my bag and left me alone by the road. Gosh, really crazy ideas but I’m lovin’ the adventure!

So, my loyal laptop, don’t you dare break down in front of me and leave me with nothingness in this world. Thanks a zillion!

Taste of Freedom

2009-06-16T02:26:00.000+01:00

Exactly 2100 last night, my biggest most huge nightmare's over!
NO MORE A-LEVELS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!!
&& first thing in the morning I am out of this fucking KTJ!!! Ha-Ha!
Packed everything up last night and slept. No more books. No more dinner dates~ ;)
But but but... I will miss the Upper 6s. And of course some Lower 6s- especially that one.
No Bie, I miss you more lah... ;p

Mission accomplished:
1. Lunch with the Kinabalu members
2. Returned all books (sort of)
3. Gave away all notes
4. Lunch with Mr. Dickman @ 020709! (thought he wouldn't agree with the idea)
5. Mr. Murali eventually bought our Maths class Nasi Lemak. Thank you!!
6. A-levels. Yeay!
7. New friends ;)
8. Pictures taken. Here and there.

Looking forward to:
1. OUTINGS!
2. Interview @ 30th June
3. Installation night @ 28th June
4. Speech Day @ 4th July
5. Probably summer camp.
6. Reading more books! OMG, i sounded like a geek!
7. More dates with Tiger :D

Highlights throughout exam month(s):
- We as in me, Faiz and Anjali played truth or dare in the dining hall a day before prom. We dared Anju to tell Kenneth "I love you". Faiz did sexy touch and sexy talk with Edvin. We got Honey to play one round with us. She went to Nesho(is that how u spell his name?) and asked to become her prom partner. Well, not like she can go also.
- After ECA Reportaire, those non-prom-ing went to tuck shop to lepak. We played a "prom game" and had lots of laughter!!
- Library incident. grr~ They will always say my name out loud whenever he walked by.
- Lunch with Kinabalu members. Some didn't manage to come but we had fun chitchatting.
- Developed a new crush. Yes Bie, a new one. But he's in Form 2 ;p Think i told you. LOL!
- 090609 LOVE BRINGS TWO SOUL TOGETHER again!

I'm glad i'll be leaving this school with some sweet memories. And bitter ones. But whatever~
Oh, Nadie and Shazli coming back for summer holidays :D Can't wait for cousin's outing! Wee~

Between Study of Life and F=ma

2009-05-21T15:40:00.000+01:00

Current song: something from Hitz.fm

Just like every other day, I (forcefully) went to library to do Maths C4. Besides, period 3&4 we'll be having Maths class at G3 which is near the library. So, might as well just go there.
Bell rang @ 0950.
Saw CT walked back to house. (Isn't CT supposed to have Maths class?!) Both Imrans-A & F, John, Sean and I did Mechanics 1. For TOMORROW.

Break, went to library again. Continued M1. Early Lunch. Went back and prayed.
Next destination: Simon's Square. Chemistry class. *sigh*

After school hour, went to the Foyer to donate blood!
Bad news: Waited for an hour till they got the things done and they said it supposed to start @ 1400 && I didn't get to study Mechanics 1 =(
Good news: Managed to donate my blood [B+] =D

Around 5pm, went back to house, showered in dizziness, prayed, talked to Tiger, fell asleep.
Woke up when they rang the house bell.
"Shit, prep!" Prayed Maghrib.
Switched on the laptop. Biology past year papers appeared.

"All enzymes are protein. They..."
[Serious studying going on. Please keep quite.]

PS: Weih! Mechanics 1 how la?? T.T

Einstein, gimme some rest!

2009-05-20T14:46:00.000+01:00

*beep* *beeeep* *beeeeeeeeeep!!!!* "Aihhhh..."
*buzz* "Hello?" "Em, wake up d. I love you" "I love you too. Muaxxx~"
Showered. Prayed. Breakfast- lazy.

8.30am- Library. Revision Physics Paper 2. John Bong came an hour later.
11.10am- Break. Went to Tuck Shop. Met Imran, Abraham, Sean Su and Alvin. Went to library again. CT was there too. Studying his S1. Ha-ha =D Last minute discussion for Physics 5. (panicking!)
1.00pm- Lunch time. Went back to house, prayed. Got the stationeries ready then head off to hall.
1.45pm- Entered hall. Seated . Formulae running through my mind.
1.50pm- Seated still. Looking around. Breathe in breathe out.
1.55pm- Brain: Wah, 5 mins to 2pm.
1.58pm- Brain: Cepatlah...
1.59pm- Coughed. Formulae started runnning away. Brain: Oi, come back wei!
2.00pm- Here we go...~ Bismillah...

Physics Paper 2 (2.00pm-3.00pm)
Q1. Base Quantities.
Q2. Projectile Motion
Q3. Electric Field
Q4. Torque
Q5. Spring Constant (didn't expect this to come out)
Q6. Diffraction Double Slit (pass year)
Q7. Kirchoff's Law
Q8. Radioactive Decay

Physics Paper 5(3.15pm-4.30pm)
Q1. Finding Young modulus (Design experiment)
Q2. I=pd^q (did mistake when finding y-intercept!)

Good news: 13 PAPERS LEFT...!!!!

4.40pm- (Lazily) walked back to library. Did C4 for Dickman's Maths class tomorrow.
6.00pm- Happily walked back to house. Prayed.
6.30pm- Dinner. Saw CT.
7.00pm- Talked with Tiger on the phone. Whenever he did this "I LOVE YOU" voice, I'd go "gugugaga".

Prep- C4. Seriously cannot concentrate....!!! Even Tiger can tell Squirrel's mind wandered around the jungle... ;)

Events:
Thursday- Blood Donation!
Friday- MUFTI Day! + Biology 1 + Mechanics 1

Quote of the day: Tiger don't have fingers but can count! Ha-ha!

Long Day Ahead

2009-05-19T14:58:00.000+01:00

Wake UP! Chemistry Practical...!!!
*yawn*
Went to library around 8.30am. Jason Tong, John Bong and I gathered at Simon's Square (a small room where our favourite Chemistry teacher, Mr. Simon Lai can be found). Having done our (last minute) revision, we headed off to the laboratory. Most of the students were already there. I saw CT. He-he...

Chemistry Lab 1: Me, next to Voon Hui (Lower 6).
I estimated every question must finished within 40 mins.

The Experiment: Cu2+ diluted, KI, Na2S2O3, HCl.
Q1. Cappucino Test. Dark dirty brown turns pale brown, then add 10 drops of starch. UNTIL blue-black coloration disappear. (END POINT).
I was really clumsy for this question! Spilled solutions everywhere. And no freaking space!
Q2. Rate of reaction. Sulfur, yellow ppt formed and time for that to happened. (Here, I managed to get extra 10 mins to finish up my calculation for Q1. Honesly, i was really rushing.)
Q3. Analysis. Ions present: Pb2+, Mg2+, Chromate, Nitrite and Sulphate. How to test? Refer the paper they gave you. =D

Washed the apparatus, straight went to lunch! No, the day doesn't end here. There are still 16 papers waiting for me. After lunch, prayed, took a nap then (lazily) went to library again. Physics 2 and 5 Revision-athon. Managed to get some information glued to my brain. InsyAllah i can answer Paper 2 and Paper 5. Amin.

PS: Pray for my success!

Otakku Hangus

2009-05-18T15:55:00.000+01:00

F.Y.I, Chemistry practical is tomorrow. T.T
I still have Physics 2 and 5 to do later...

C4 trials- B 77% (gotta work harder!)

[stress...][stress...][stress...][stress...][stress...][stress...][stress...]

InsyAllah can do lah! =)

A-levels BIG TIME!

2009-05-17T15:22:00.000+01:00

THE REAL BATTLE STARTED @ 14-05-09

1. BIOLOGY 3
2. CHEMISTRY 3
3. PHYSICS 2
4. PHYSICS 5
5. BIOLOGY 1
6. MECHANICS 1
7. PHYSICS 3
8. BIOLOGY 4
9. PHYSICS 4
10. CHEMISTRY 4
11. BIOLOGY 2
12. BIOLOGY 5
13. CHEMISTRY 2
14. CHEMISTRY 5
15. PHYSICS 1
16. CHEMISTRY 1
17. CORE MATHS 3
18. CORE MATHS 4

freaky friday

2009-05-17T15:12:00.000+01:00

15th May 2009

current song : Demi Lovato- Don't Forget

Breakfast! oh, i miss breakfast ALOT! Went with Faiz and most Nadza boys were sitting with us. CT was next to our table. Can i say that i miss him?! Ha-Ha. Like he cares =|
(sorry Tiger! ;p)
Then, went to Library. Again. Studied C4 abit. Chatted about how much 4 of us sick of this ONE never-sick-to-annoy-people fella. I tell you, my patience level is not that high and i could just "explode" anytime. Imagine a boy, an ugly one, stares (STARES!) at you and reminds him of your sister. That is called "no live to live on". Fine, I know it has nothing to do with me since it's between my sister and that fucker. BUT, staring at me is one thing i can't accept. That is FRONT STALKING! eww.. And i told her to stop in any way at all from communicating with him. (Too bad for me lah~)

Let's erase that part away.
C4 trails- Alhamdulillah, i could answer most of the questions by leaving them empty. =D
At least i tried kan?! He-He...
After that, we had Biology. Was standing throughout the lesson. No, not punishment. Just to prevent me from sleeping since i didn't bring the papers to class =) Sarah and I had fun. Laughing around. Talking shytes. I had fun my own way =D Screw those fellas. Sometimes, it's fun watching the people that you wish you could condemn is condemned by higher rank people. Call me whenever it happens at your place okay?! LOL!

Lunch. Sleep.
Dinner. Shower.
1st Prep- Physics 2
Break- Tiger called!!!!!! =DDDDD
2nd Prep- Nadie called!!!!! ( We sisters really do have some kind of "aura")
Bedtime- Sang Tiger to sleep.. I <3 style="font-style: italic;">muaxxx~

Some some about SISTERS.
I guess, within sisters they do have strong instinct or probably known as aura.
Early this afternoon, the thought of my sister crossed my mind. Planned that i would write on her wall later at night. As mentioned above, she called! But the line was so shitty i told her that i would call her instead. Burnt my 7 bucks (T.T), we talked for about 3 and a half minutes. While we were chatting, probably coincidence, i was hungry and so was she. Plus i wanted to finish off the leftover breads. Went down to pantry and toasted them. Spread butter and they melt fast! Yummy~ (Damn, i want more!) Went to my room again and found out she's eating bread also! But of course, without butter. Ha-Ha! I reckon we miss each other so badly! =DDDDD And i miss my borthers and Kak Arin. =(((
Oh July, come faster please!

PS: Saturday i'm going back! Get to meet Ikmal i hope =D and also Tiger! =p

1st Battle: Biology Practical Examination 9700/31

2009-05-17T15:07:00.000+01:00

14 May 2009

Woke up early. Prayed and then I read up some information that i left out last night.
Soon, Biology Practical, 10.40am. OMG!OMG!OMG!.... I'm freaking out.
Went to class... Apparently, only me who's taking Practical exams was there. Sorry to others though. They didn't have a proper lesson because of me (i think) BUT thanks to me (maybe), the class ends earlier than usual. =)

Went to library and found a whole bunch of August Intakes Lower 6ers having discussion for the Practical exams. Gave them some hints and went off to sit with Sarah. Faiz and Sabrina was there too- studying. Shaking and trembling, i bid them goodbye and head to the Biology Laboratory. Sweating and training my brain to remember all the facts, i stepped in the Lab (with Bismillah) and found my seat, next to Aswan.

The Experiment: Effect of pH on enzyme present in yeast. (or something like that)
The yeast plus ethanol plus glucose gave a very yucky odour. Blekk~ They said i started off first (well, i'm not gonna waste my time). So, yeah. ONE DOWN! What i know now, i screwed most of the questions but i have 17 papers to look ahead and looking back at what have been done is so yesterday. (yeah, that's the way Shanaz!) =D

Lunch.
Chemistry class. Brain focus: 5%
After school- Interact (annual) meeting.
Went to 6th F. Center. Planned to do Mechanics 1. Ended up sleeping in the interview room.(luckily got air-cond weih! the EARTH is BOILING!)

Me, a zombie, walked back to Jawahir.
Put my bag down.
Removed the blanket.
Took off my tudung and shirt (no imagination here!)
SLEEP.

*buzzz* *buzzz*
"Hello?!" "Wake upppp! Dinner date!"
Brain: Hell, dinner date!
Eyes: Sleep..... She had a long day kan?
Brain: Chemistry wei!
Eyes: She needs to sleep!
Brain: She slept for 2 hours.
Eyes: Look, she's having headache. Can't you tell?
Brain: She's waking up
Eyes: Yeah, look, im flooded.
Brain: OMG, is she okay?
Eyes: Shutup!

Showered.Sob.
"Tiger, i miss you"
Dinner date- absent

monday blues

2009-05-17T15:04:00.000+01:00

11th May 2009

Assembly.
Was SUPPOSED to get the Librarian Certificates! =(((
Biology- Slide experiment
Maths- more maths classes during Examination month
Break- Library Monitors Meeting
Chemistry- more classes.
Physics- Play time! =D (study la woi!)
After school- Chemistry Practical (my very last practical!)
also my last time to see CT =(

stress ALERT!

2009-05-01T16:07:00.000+01:00

current song: what hurts the most by rascal flatts

300409- Happy Birthday to Dr. Shahrom also known as my beloved Ayah :) Too bad i couldnt be home to celebrate it with him and the whole family. (should have gone back lah) Anyways, today is my worst day ever- flu, cough and fought with that minah Korea. No ampun-ampun! No way!

Last weekend wasn't that good either. Fuck! i regret buying that shit. Urgh, God, help me!! :(((
This afternoon, Nadie walled me and said she just found a video i did for her. (can't remember which one) BUT i'm gald that she loves it! Great, now i'm missing her :((

What to study this month?!
1. Bio 3
2. Chem 3
3. Phy 2
4. Phy 5
5. Bio 1
6. Mech 1
7. Phy 3
(I'm actually struggling to see the list since it was 1.5m away!)
So far, i did Chem 4. (wait, that's not in the list!) Oh, well... and later- Mechanics 1 :D

below is my timetable for this whole exam months.

SERIOUSLY CAN'T WAIT TO GET OUT FROM THIS CELL!!!
I'll be counting the dayssssssss~ after that, Farah and Kak Nadie...we're gonna rock KL!!!

MOMMY: Study hard and make sure you get your results!
AYAH: Study hard and smart. Then you can follow Kakak.
KAKAK: Shanaz, study tau! Then i'll wait till September comes!
ME: Insyallah. I will try my whole lot of BEST to study and get good results okay! Make doa for me!

PS: 14 days left till i sit for Biology Paper 3. Hitchman! Help me pleaseee~

balik sekolah~

2009-04-21T16:12:00.001+01:00

BACK at KTJail. (oh, God)
The John's sisters gave me a green hoody shirt. Will show you the pictures tomorrow ;) Anyways, the crazy routines starts on Monday itself. Lucky me, no Chemistry practical. Was supposed to go jog with Jeannie and Evelyn but the weather was scorching hawt. So, i stayed in my room and start flipping through my (holiday) prep ;p
Then, almost midnight i started to get this massive pounding headache. Called Marc (and cried) and then fell asleep till around 3 am- because my bed got wet and it was raining. *shivers*

Breakfast: nasi lemak :D
Dozzed off during Physics.
Maths-C3... urgh, haven't finish!
Guess what i saw this evening?! a beautiful layered colored sky! blue and pinkish orange-ish. Subhanallah~

*beep* *beep*
From: mommy- Kak Arin having interview today. Make doa for her success. Insyallah.

Tomorrow's event : EARTH DAY- free MUFTI!

Sunny Day

2009-04-18T02:19:00.000+01:00

Current song: My band-Eminem ft D12

The clouds are gone! Early Saturday morning?!
I'm off to PJ later then maybe drop by at SJI's Family Day.
Just pray that the weather won't be that hot later on. And around evening, i'll be meeting with this (huge) teacher for Physics. Oh, i really wanna buy this long shirt! Mommy, let me please =|

Abang Hisham having his finals soon ;) study hard okay! Then we can go holiday at Ireland- celebrate Christmas and shopping! Also, insyallah Kak Arin will be there by that time. So no worries about booking rooms ;)

Ten things I look forward to (around june-july) :
1. Kak Nadie coming back for Summer holidays :D
2. Abang Shazli too! :D:D
3. Farah Shazliyana three! :D:D:D
4. Harry Potter & the Half Blood Prince
5. Sunway Lagoon trip (this to be confirmed later)
6. Sitting for my IELTS test again!
7. Work with Kak Saba or with Mommy and her NuSkin products!
8. Holiday with Family in Johor B.
9. Clean my room ;p
10. Workout workout workout

Okay, my hair's dry now. Gotta get ready to leave.
PS: Marc, call me! ;p

Timeless

2009-04-17T16:08:00.000+01:00

No, this is not about Xiah Junsu ft Jang Ri In's song!
This is the new blog of mine. Deleted the old ones as they were meaningless.
anyways, this Sunday I'll be back in KTJ. New term and i'll be sitting for my finals ;) after that, goodbye college & hello uni! So now, i gotta study harder and focus more while doing my revision! but right now i can't. distracted and too many thoughts running in and out from my brain. i wish time would go slow on me. especilally now.

"O' Lord, help me go through this 'pain' and free me with success and joy" amin.

PS: ayah, mommy, kak arin, abg hisham, abg shazli, kak nadie and ikmal; make doa for me so that i can be a part of the medical circle like everyone else in the family. <3