telepathy for real

We used the same bag and we wore the same colour of top and hijab.
Her picture was taken some time last week and mine was last year.
The real meaning of sisters? Me thinks so.

I’m tired of this World being a better place to stay.

This new semester has been a crazy one for me indeed. With different societies I'm committed into and other people to tolerate to, I wish I have mom to monitor my movements. Staying in Dublin taught me how life can really be more difficult than it has already been. I wonder is God actually having fun watching me getting the torture. Or was it just plainly my fault for being far away from Him? At a point, I wish I just want to quit. But hey, that's not what I am and I will make sure I won't quit. These are just the beginning and let's take it as a way to get to know how to improve self in dealing with different minds. Scarification is a must if you want to survive. But how easy do people look down on things which are so important. There are a few events had occurred to me for the past eight weeks or so. I'm entering March next week and it will definitely be another crazy month to go through. Having someone who is a Malay boy, which I can never get along with, working with me and having all his egos on me is just another minor stuff I have to go through with. International Night's coming up and everyone's looking forward to it. Looks like I have to make up my mind to which is more important. As I am writing this –lucky thing I'm in the library hence less sounds of frustration can be heard- I feel like breaking down and letting go all of my responsibilities. I want to disappear to nowhere and away from everyone. Away from those usrah sisters who have been unconsciously forcing me to attend to their circles or whatever they call themselves. As a matured grown up people they should have understood why I've made my decision. The worse thing they did was to make it even worst. Should I be disappointed at them or at myself? Should I apologise or should I avoid? Should I just give up or go on and be strong? What is it that God's trying to tell me? Because I don't think I can get what He's trying to tell me or show to me or hinting me.

Should I even be sorry for being me? Should I change who you want me to be? Should I not be myself and be who you wanted me to be like? Should I even listen to the words you are saying?

Or rather,

Why would I apologise? Why would I change myself to be who you want me to be? Why would I not be myself? Why would I even listen to you?

If you think you have read the words of God, I guess you haven't read enough. Saying all those ayahs to people, well the bitter truth is action speaks louder than words. I don't have to have your judgement to judge me. I know God knows me and He knows what I like and what I don't like. He made me, of course He would know. And who are you, who actually are at the same level as me, to be superior and egoistic yet irresponsible? If you're trying to take care of other people's character, make sure your character is well enough taken care of.

I'm done complaining and sighing and getting all disappointed.

Fly away...

[Secret Garden OST] Baek Ji Young - That Woman

thanks to SJ Lovers.