Forbidden kind.

Tiger, what is love to you? Maybe what you’re going through is love. Dahaeng ineyo. You’re so much happier than before. She brought you light that brighten up your days and nights.

What is love to me? Love is you. Love is when you walked me home with your cap on and eating McFlurry. Love is when you read through me. Love is when you stared straight into my eyes. Love is when you talked to me when you’re sleepy. Love is when you delivered double cheeseburger personally for me. Love is when you sang ‘Twinkle twinkle little star’. Love is April 4^th. Love is Teddy. Love is Greeny and Orangey. Love is when you smiled and melted my heart. Love is when you made funny faces on Skype. Love is when you called me ‘Good morning’. Love is when you spoke in your squeaky voice. Love was the whole of 4 years together.

But our kind is a forbidden love. No pictures, no letters, no messages, nothing could be kept except memories we made. And with those memories left will I remember for the rest of my life. I won’t forget. I don’t want to forget. Those time when you gave me a taste of pure love. The kind that absorbed through your skin and ran in your veins; giving warmth even in the coldest night.

Seeing you happy, I thought I could be too. I tried and tried and tried but failed and falling apart. I don’t know how to love anymore. A friend asked me if I love this guy who caught my attention before. I said… I don’t know what love is anymore. I’d probably like him but never love because he’s not you. No one will ever be the love that I’ve had. No one will ever be you.

I may sound ridiculous to you. You might even get tired of me being like this but I’ll never get tired of running through the memories we had before. Because those memories reminded me of what love truly means. Without them, I don’t know what love is. I don’t know how love feels, how it tastes, how it grew in me, how it hurts me inside out.

Tiger, were you happy?