three years already?

Today marks the end of third week of Surgery rotation. I have another week to go with 20 case write-ups to compile into a portfolio. Tutorials needed to be rewritten nicely in an organized order. Weekend. This weekend is all I have to finish the 3 weeks load of work. How lazy I’ve became ey?

I just arrived home from the airport accompanying a friend to pick up her fiancé who flew all the way from Canada to Penang. Such a sweet chap. Well, he actually applied to do his research in PGH. So it’s kind of a convenient to be near his beloved.

That brought me to a memory I had three years ago. The moment he showed up at the college was just beyond my imagination. I remembered how odd I was at that time. I was trembling and all mushy in the inside, thanks to the farms of butterflies. His face, his touch, his smile, and his scent- I remember them all. But unfortunately, those were memories of the past where now he is no longer to be seen anywhere around me.  

I guess I am really still caught up in the past. I would still be looking forward to the 9^th even though on the day itself I would forget entirely, which I’d normally do. Haha! I know this isn’t fair for either of us. He’s way happier with her than he was with me. I could feel that.  I know I should finally let him go but there’s something inside me that wants to hold on to him no matter what.

Friends have been asking me why I don’t have a boyfriend. First, it’s religiously wrong. Second, I lost him because I’m so stupid. Third, no other guys could treat me the way he did. Forth, the boys I’ve met are all babies. Fifth, I hate commitment-knowing all these boys just want to have someone in their lives or lonely. 

Or just desperate.

A guy confessed to me before and I politely refused to accept the confession. Don’t be deceived by my appearance- I have a really bad personality to be honest. I just get weirder the more you know about me. Pretty? I’m not even in the list! So, what’s there to be with me?

Oh goshhhh. I should be writing my case write-ups but it’s getting late and I need to be at the hospital at 9am. Well, the earliest I have to be in the ward was 6.30am and I am telling you the truth. Well, whatever I said in my posts are all true stories. Can’t wait for Family Medicine and Medicine rotations- because I could sleep in more often! (Also, hopefully I would be more studious later on)

I supposed I was your biggest mistake, no?

Good day to you. Wherever you are.

I’m gonna be alright. Time will heal. Time will. I think.