Fine points noticed.

Just so you know, I have at least another 9 days till my final examination begins. In the mean time, life has been pretty hectic; me falling sick, complicated feelings, heartaches and disappointment, of course not forgetting study matters. Can say that I handled them well enough except on one Friday night where everything was just beyond my patience. I couldn’t tell anyone because the truth is nobody cares anyway. And with that, I’m not going to tell about it here. Only one person knew how bad that night was, or probably some of them did hear too.

Oh, called mother last weekend. Dad’s already with Shazli in Moscow. Inshallah if everything goes well, he’ll be the 4^th doctor in the family! :) He probably won’t be the best doctor there is but I know he’s the best brother I’m proud of having. With all the struggles he went through, only God will reward him for his huge effort. That’s a reminder for me too. Mother has been telling me not to think about repeats and all but I can’t help not to. What happened once might just happen again and you can’t predict the future, can you?

All plans over the summer aren't going as planned. I am sure God must have better arrangement laid out for me then :) Going back to Malaysia this summer is something I definitely look forward to. One of the main reasons is so I could have a proper medical check-up. Thinks my sinusitis might have accumulated but still not showing any symptom like before although I do have facial pain at times. Also, I’m not surprised that my vision has gotten progressively bad. As well as my chondritis.

What’s up with the whole inflammation thing really? I’m worried if I actually at the risk of having brain abscess. It’s not impossible because before, I almost have it and that is also why it has affected my vision. I only wish and pray, if God were to take my life has it when I’m prostrating to Him.

On a different note, not too long ago I knew I broke someone’s heart. Someone I care for. Loved and lost. Yes. It hurts for a while but I’m doing it for the sake of God and so, the pain was tolerable. Wishing he’s doing well and have a better life in Australia. If you were meant for me, we will eventually find each other again. But if we’re not, I’ll go and look for you in Heaven :) Thanks for all the memories and the fights we’ve gone through. You have taught me billions of new things and instilled in me the confidence to go through life stronger than before. You are by far the person I will forever care for.

Lately, I kept having this weird feeling as if my days on Earth won’t be long now. Any minute I could leave my family and friends behind. Wonder will I be remembered? Probably not. I did nothing significant for them to be affected. Just like BIG D2B- most people must have forgotten about him and honestly, I almost…almost forgot about him too. I hate myself for that :(

However, I thank God for every minute that He gave me to breathe, every person He allowed me to meet, every problem He let me encountered, every pain He let me feels. The little details that people usually took for granted are the things I usually appreciate more.