Although I wasn’t that close to be called a friend, but the
way he left brought up all those deep memories buried within myself. In such a
cruel way to let go, between the times when they found out, did you suffer? Was
that what you’ve been wanting after all?
Never have I told this story. Never has anyone known except
those who were close enough for me to tell. I was (and still is) a girl with faith. A huge
faith but I lost the battle of pain. Too weak to be strong, I thought of the
easiest way to be free. Wished something called Death could make them go away;
the pain, the sufferings, grieves and sadness. I tried calling Death. I came
close enough but someone out there must have loved me so much, I surrendered. After
a whole day being in bed I got up and prayed. Prayed for forgiveness for being
such a weak believer.
Days went by and within time, hope instilled bit by bit in
me. I grew stronger as I could; not wanting to look back at those stupid
mistakes I've made. HE loves Mom I supposed. HE probably doesn’t want Mother to
suffer because HE knew she might not be able to go through another loss.
Death would sometimes wave at me. As if he’s coming close for
a catch up since I hang up on him. Nevertheless, I keep walking away. Walking as
far as I could, running as fast as I could, jumping as high as I could.
Is anybody listening? Will there be someone out there for me
to reach out to? I doubt that. I’ll stand with my own two feet. Stand tall and
sturdy. I have to otherwise I wouldn’t be who and where I am today.
I’ll keep smiling. A sincere smile to share with the
world.
PS: Rest In Peace.
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